The Collection
by Missus Anonymous J
Summary: This will simply be where I upload all of my Romance/Angst centered drabbles that I write. They are each in no way connected to one another, this is just where you can find them all.
1. She Didn't Understand

Genre: Romance/Angst  
Pairing: Sirius Black & Lily Evans  
Word Count: 366  
Rating: PG  
Written: November 11, 2005

She Didn't Understand

She didn't understand. She never understood. It was as though she couldn't understand; she was too fucking perfect to have to even bother considering the idea of understanding exactly what it was that was going through my mind every time I saw her walk past, pick up a quill... or when she would smile that beautiful smile in my direction.

I would gaze at the back of her auburn hair from the rear of the Transfiguration classroom. There she was, sitting next to my best friend, the two of them copying the notes that McGonagall had charmed onto the blackboard. Her right hand and his left hand ran swiftly over their pages, occasionally bumping one another, which caused them to take shy sidelong glances at one another.

My best friend had broken the news last night. He had decided that he was going to propose to this girl we were both madly infatuated with. His plan was to propose the same night as our graduation from Hogwarts, at the ball the two of them had arranged to have. He promised that I could be the best man at the wedding. I had absolutely no desire to attend this wedding, but I couldn't tell him that.

I sighed heavily, casting my eyes back to the assignment I was supposed to be working on, instead of doodling vague renderings of her in the margins on my parchment.

She was the smartest witch at Hogwarts in years, but she was too innocent to realize why James and I weren't as close as we formerly were. James and I would spend our few moments together joking about how it was her, stealing away all of James's free time, and how she needn't worry, because James and I both understood it was a new relationship, one that needed a lot of tending to because of both their reputations. She always smiled that sweet, innocent smile, rested her pink lips on my temple and then walked off slowly, squeezing James's hand as she went. She was peaceful, friendly, forgiving, innocent and intelligent. But she just couldn't understand how it was her that was pulling James and me apart. For someone so fucking smart, she was so bloody ignorant about anything that she thought would disrupt the illusion of the perfect life she had built around herself. _So fucking stupid._

After the wedding, she invited me to dinner every Sunday. After the first five months, I started refusing, because the dinners got too tense, but she continued inviting me. I loved her even more for not realizing how bloody amazing it made her, not understanding what was going on between James and I... and I hated her for being her, for making both of us fall in love with her, and then not understanding. She didn't understand... and I wouldn't want it any other way.


	2. Differences

Genre: Angst  
Character(s): Sirius Black  
Words: 427  
Rating: G  
Written: November 14, 2005  
  
Differences

I could barely comprehend what I was seeing as I stared in feared disbelief at the tiny creature bundled in my arms, a baby wrapped warmly in the blanket his mother had charmed for him the day of his birth.

I opened my mouth, trying to call for them, Remus, anyone at all, but no sound came. I could feel the salty burn of tears as they built up behind my eyes.

Why was no one responding to my sobs? Mews of fear, pain, loss and disbelief. I parted my now dry lips and shouted for help again, the plea coming from the back of my parched throat.

I wanted to hear the sound of Lily's laughter and James's chuckles, each confessing their parts in this sick practical joke, and then hear he sincere apology when they realized what they had just put me through, I wanted to feel James clapping his hand down on my shoulder, I wanted to feel Lily wrapping her arms around me in the apologetic way she always did. But no. There was no laughter, and no warmth from sudden contact, just the soft crying of baby Harry. It was in that brief moment of silence that I felt my heart break in two, all my air being sucked from my lungs, and my blood rush cold.

I pressed the knuckles of my left hand against my tongue, closing my teeth on my fist. I leaned my back against the wall, and slid down it so I was sitting on the floor. It was then that I squeezed my eyes shut and let hot tears roll down my cheeks as the realization dawned on me.

They were dead. They were really, truly gone. But how? I asked myself, lowering my head so it rested gently on Harry's head. They were so young!... How could he do something like this? How could Peter betray someone who had treated him like a brother? How could be betray the one woman who accepted him as he was and loved him for it? How could he do this to this innocent child?

Still, I cried. Still, I didn't understand why no one was coming to force me to share why my tears existed.

I stood there, my back shielding Harry from the cold for what seemed like hours, struggling to control my breathing as I mourned the loss of my two best friends. The loss of two people who were so complete, so in love, so young. Too young to die, or to know this pain.


	3. He Took The Cold Away

Genre: Angst  
Characters: Petunia Dursley  
Word Count: 493  
Rating: G  
Written: February 2, 2006

He Took The Cold Away

I sat, my whole body shaking from the cold. I watched the news, the terrified news casters shouting things into their microphones as emergency rescue vehicles drove up to the smoldering house.

I knew what had happened, and I knew what was going to happen because of it. I also knew that my people couldn't do a damn thing about what had just happened. They were gone. My sister and that wretched husband of hers, gone. The baby was missing, most likely already gathered by that man... the best man at their wedding.

I shook my head, not wanting to believe what had just happened. She had made me promise, promise I wouldn't inform people that I knew, that I wouldn't warn the muggle community. She made me promise that if something like this happened, I would sit still at work the next day, and pretend how devastated I was that someone had set fire to an ancient house in a strange community, and how horrible it was that a young couple had died before they even began their own family.

And I did just that. After gathering my nephew from my doorstep the next morning, Vernon and I headed off to work, leaving Dudley and that boy with our sitter, a young girl who didn't pay much attention to either children. I sat in my office, occasionally having a colleague poke their head into the small room, asking if I was interested in covering the article about the young couple who had died the previous night.

Around twelve thirty, I had finished packing my belongings and headed out the door. I walked all the way home, as opposed to calling for a cab as I normally did... I didn't call Vernon to tell him I had just quit my job, I just went straight home, the light box sheltered under my right arm.

When I finally arrived home, I sent the sitter off, telling her she needn't come back again; I had decided to become a stay at home mother. I put Dudley to bed, and the boy immediately fell asleep. Then I went to retrieve my nephew from the play pen, and rested him in Dudley's old bassinette.

_"Good night, Harry,"_ I whispered softly, as the messy haired toddler closed his eyes. His green eyes... the eyes so like his mothers... like my sisters... Lily.

I had dreams for months, years, practically. Always the same red eyes glaring at me, not seeing me, threatening to harm me because of the protection I offered. I would wake up in a cold sweat, fearing these cold red eyes.

The coldness has long since passed, knowing now, that boy sacrificed himself so that the rest of the world could live without fear. So I no longer lived in fear. And each night, I kneel at the edge of my now lonely bed, always whispering the same prayer.

_Thank you for taking the cold away._


End file.
